Whereas in the month of May, A. D. 2016, Dorothy Robinson solemnly declares that we mothers everywhere retire the words, “Mommy gut” and “Mommy instinct” from the current parenting lexicon.

For thine are stupid.

Whereas “Mommy gut” and “Mommy instinct,” sound, at best, like advertising copy for a probiotic yogurt or a bad perfume, respectfully, we do so declare it be stricken from social media sites the world over.

We maintain that one can just write “trust your gut” or “trust your instinct” without having to bring in the enigmatical “mommy-ness” of such a statement. For do fathers not have “daddy instinct”? Does one ever tell them they need to trust their “Daddy gut” in regards to their children?

No, because they don’t giveth a shit.

We hereby also declare that if mothers could really “do hard things,” we would all be neurosurgeons.

We proclaim that in the realm of social media, you can write about being a mother and parent without having to resort to honeyed figures of speech, by posting inspirational mommy Memes featuring an illustration of a woman by a harp next to a saccharine quote about motherhood, or by wearing a “It’s Wine-Thirty Somewhere” t-shirt.

(Although if thine Meme is about an animal that is also a mom and features adorable baby animals, it is allowed.)

We call upon responsible social media users everywhere to promote these measures designed and maintain the dignity of parenting everywhere.

For we can do-eth better. As we are women.