‘Black Hawk Downing’

Nat and I do a thing in our parenting routine called “Black Hawk Downing.”

It means we need to get tactical with our parenting … military style.

The United States Department of Defense Dictionary of Military Terms defines the “tactical level” as “the level of war at which battles and engagements are planned and executed to accomplish military objectives. Activities at this level focus on the ordered arrangement and maneuver of combat elements in relation to each other and to the enemy to achieve combat objectives.”

Or, if you’re a parent, it means “packing the car for the weekend.”

“Okay, in the next ten minutes, I’ll pack the kids’ bags, diapers, toothbrushes and toiletries. I’ll pack my own suitcase while you pack yours but don’t forget the toothpaste. You need to grab the dog’s food, a leash, a cell phone charger, the pack n play, the correct stuffed animal, and grab a snack for the car. Oh, and fill up a water bottle. We will meet back at the front hallway 8:07 a.m. You will strap the kids into their car seats while I organize the trunk. If there is any time left, please grab the 4-month-old New Yorker off the coffee table in case I have a spare 10 minutes this weekend to read it (I won’t). Now, GO! GO GO GO GO GO GO!”

We call it “Black Hawk Downing” because, like the movie “Black Hawk Down,” something inevitably goes terribly wrong and we get thrown off our objective. A poop-explosion. Lost shoes. Of the 13 water bottles we own, 8 are missing, 3 are missing tops, 2 are missing bottoms. The keys are lost. I can’t find my glasses. It’s this, but with less explosions.

Soldier throws a grenade - Imgur

But we eventually get out of the house. We will be missing something, that is a given, but we will get out of the house. But it will be maybe the most stressful thing I will undertake all week. It’s so stressful, that I question why we even leave the house. But we get on the road. And if we forget something, that is why God created Target.

But yes! Out of the house, we get.

I am unsure of the military term for that. This?


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