Diary, Nov 17: ‘Can you believe this shit?’


“Can you believe this shit?”

This is something I’ve been asking myself and those around me  almost daily since the election.

“Can you believe this shit?”

Because I’m incredulous.

I’m incredulous that one of the most qualified people ever to run for President of the United States lost to a huckster and a fraud. A liar and a cheat. And now someone who I think inhabits all of the worst attributes in a human being is the leader of the free world.

I just can’t believe it.

But then I get angry at myself for being so surprised.

Because, ladies, we should have known. We should have seen this coming a mile away. It always ends this way for us.

As a friend put it, “Men like this always win.”

And women like us?  We don’t. I mean, we make some gains. But we don’t get it all.

What is the most hurtful thing for me is seeing this photo I took after voting. I felt so hopeful when I took this photo.  I felt like this was our time. I felt like I was ushering in a different world for my daughter.

We were so close. So very close. But it wasn’t enough. 

Yesterday, when I saw a friend of mine at preschool drop-off, I asked her my constant question— “Can you believe this shit?” And she looked at me sadly and said, “I think what is most hurtful is I look back at the photo I took in my pantsuit on voting day with my two  young sons all happy and hopeful.  And I think about that person: ‘How could you be so stupid?’”

We should have known, ladies. We should have known. 

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