The art of the car sit

This is me, doing the Art of the Car sit, in the Trader Joe’s parking lot, with Pink Eye. 

When I first moved to the suburbs, a neighbor took me to coffee and a SoulCycle class (per Clause 1354 of the New Jersey Mom Manual aka: NJMM).

We jumped in her Minivan (per Clause 256, Article A of the NJMM), grabbed some coffee, gabbed about our kids, and got to the class.

We then parked. I reached for the door and she stopped me.  “We’re early. Let’s just sit for a bit. Five minutes. It’s nice.”

So, we sat. And it felt strange because why would we just sit there? Why weren’t we getting our bikes? Strapping in? Chatting with other women? You know…doing stuff.

I didn’t get it.

But then I had a second child.

And then I got it.

And now I’m down with the art of the Car Sit.

Are you confused about the Car Sit? Here, let me break down how you participate:


  1. Drive in your car solo somewhere. This is the most important part of the Art of the Car Sit. NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
  2. Park in a parking lot.
  3. Sit in your car for a few minutes. 

Other variations of the Car Sit include: Looking at your phone while sitting. Staring out the window. Listening to a song on the radio. Bringing along another adult and talking with them uninterrupted.

Whatever variation you choose, make sure you just sit. Give yourself five minutes. Five minutes alone in the calm silence where you (only you) dictate what you do.

It feels so good. It’s so nice and quiet. I think it’s one of the only times of the week where I feel perfectly calm.

If you’re feeling generous and fancy, treat yourself to a cup of coffee beforehand. A cup of real coffee that isn’t reheated from yesterday’s pot! Talk about luxury, ladies!

[Editors note, in re-reading this, I am worried this seems like a cry for help. It is not.  It’s that I’ve gotten to the point where sitting in my car for five minutes alone feels like a small vacation. A cry for help would be admitting I just clipped my 4-year-old’s toes in my bed (over a New Yorker, but still) which I DEFINITELY DID NOT JUST DO.]

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