For the past 4 or so years, Nat has been in charge of taking Sam to the barber. Nat, because …. there’s no way way to put this so I’ll just say it — he’s bald — will get his head shaved, the barber will either cut Sam’s hair or give him a buzz cut and it’s been great for me because I don’t have to do anything. (Me not having to do something is basically my No. 1 criteria for if it works or not.)
But now Sam is becoming a kid. His friends at school are becoming more aware of style and looks. I can feel the social jungle starting and, selfishly, I want my kiddo to have good hair.
His hair has always been out of control. Super thick and super straight. It grows and grows and never seems to fall down. There is no part. Sometimes, in the morning when I’m feeling especially ambitious, I wet it down and put gel in it. It will look good for about 30 minutes and then … it will go directly back to sticking straight up. It’s made worse by the fact we continue to go to barbers who use clippers to cut it instead of scissors, making the sides of his head look like mini-cliffs.
It pains me to write this, but: My beautiful boy’s hair looks a lot like Jim Carrey’s in Dumb and Dumber.
I’ll see other kids whose hair makes me say, “Hmmm…Their hair isn’t bad looking.” And I ask their moms where they go and it’s always a salon, never a barber. Some of my mom friends even go into the city to get their kids haircut (which is ccccrrrraaaazzzzyyyy).
Anyway, I guess I never realized it was a thing to get your kid’s hair looking decent. But it is. Yay?
So. It’s come to the point where I have had to do the inevitable: I’ve called a salon. Like everything with parenting, you have to throw money at the problem. And now we are starting salon visits (the word “salon” should be said with a snooty accent).
And it looks much better. There’s still a ways to go but it’s much better.
Meanwhile, it’s been seven months since I’ve done anything to my hair. Seven. Months.
And this little ditty sums up perfectly why moms always look terrible and their kids are always so cute.