One of the things that’s keeping my advancing middle age bearable is that we’re currently living in the golden age of seltzer. Case in point? This article about all of the new Trader Joe’s seltzer flavors. Amazing!
But it’s slightly distressing to me they don’t come in a can.
I haven’t even tried them yet and I’m already exhausted thinking about keeping the bottle lid away from Kit’s mouth.
I can hear you questioning me, “But why can’t you throw away the lid right when you open it?”
Because you don’t know me, that’s why.
I know I will crack open that bad-boy bottle and will leave the lid out IN CASE I don’t drink it immediately in order to recap it to keep the fizz. But the lid will invariably find it’s way on the floor where Kit will grab it and it will go in her mouth. And then I’ll have a mini-heart attack and she’ll sob when I take it away from her and this entire scenario wouldn’t even (potentially) happen if this new, delicious seltzer just came in a can.
I’m #teamcanforlife. Give me a crisp, delicious, easily-crushed and easily-recycled can any day of the week. Do you realize the pleasure I feel when I get in the car and can put a seltzer can in the cup holder? JOY FOR DAYS.
Cans are the perfect size. Even better are the narrow La Croix cans. It’s like the Virginia Slims of seltzer! (A friend of mine, who is aware of my seltzer love, once pointed out, “Isn’t this slightly wasteful?” Which, of course it is. But as I’ve pointed out before, I can currently only save my sanity or the planet and right now, I am picking my sanity.)
Seriously, the only reason I write on this stupid blog / newsletter is in the hopes that one day it will be sponsored by a seltzer company and/or Trader Joe’s. It’s all I want out of life. That, and a farmhouse sink. And good coffee. And a maid. And a live-in doctor.
Speaking of newsletters, did you know I have one? I do. It’s short and funny and has some recipe ideas as well as some links to interesting articles, etc. It’s like The Skimm but for busy, tired parents and women who don’t look a day over 35.
You can subscribe here. It comes out every Friday.