kids – Page 2 – The Tankini Files

Vacation is hard

To call it a “vacation”? That’s a stretch. Maybe we should call it “total family immersion in a new setting.”

This essay also includes my secret shame. At least one of them.

Nat and I were remarking that we’re pretty calm parents (we realized this after hanging out with some parents who particularly weren’t).

The nice things I’ve done for my baby that could also possibly kill her.

I guess I have a habit of not really thinking too far ahead of things. But I just couldn’t picture the human being inside me.

“WHERE IS MY BABY? WHERE IS JACKSON?!” She yelled.

THE ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR A CLOSED SHOWER CURTAIN IS THAT THERE IS PROBABLY A ROBBER BEHIND IT!!!!!!!!

Let’s just say that on Yoga Pant Saturdays, I don’t have such a hard time leaving the apartment.

$40,000. And my children aren’t even learning Mandarin.