Tag: motherhood

Diary, March 14th: Going to the doctor

In which I go to the doctor.

Diary: The sweater watershed moment

Sometimes I wonder what it is to be a good mother. And I think, “The ability to pick things up off the floor and make food on demand.”

That time I tried to make good coffee

This weekend, I really, really wanted a good cup of coffee but I also didn’t want to leave the house. Conundrum!

‘I just can’t with this shit’

And by ‘shit,’ I mean ‘shoes.’

My Nordstrom personal shopping experience ended in me crying and other fun tales

Nothing — and I mean nothing — in the world can make me feel more frustrated and helpless than a bad dressing room session.

Note to self: Don’t sit down

Sometimes in the early evening I find myself sitting down.

This is dumb.

I called a Nordstrom personal shopper

I need clothing.

Diary, August 29: Do I have Lupus?

Answer: No, I do not have Lupus. At least I don’t think so. But I wonder sometimes when I’m hungover because [*deep breaths*] I can no longer drink.

I’m not dead: A reminder

Do you ever feel that way, new mom? That you are invisible?

Diary, July 27: That time I spotted a rotten banana on my carpet

Let’s play spot the banana, shall we?

I’m at peak throwing shit away

Sorry, Earth.

New York Times and ‘Mom hair’

Like, we go to our hairdresser and go, “Hey! I’m a new mom and I really want to embrace this shit! GIVE ME THE FULL ON KATE GOSSELIN OR NOTHING AT ALL!”