In which I go to the doctor.
Sometimes I wonder what it is to be a good mother. And I think, “The ability to pick things up off the floor and make food on demand.”
This weekend, I really, really wanted a good cup of coffee but I also didn’t want to leave the house. Conundrum!
And by ‘shit,’ I mean ‘shoes.’
Nothing — and I mean nothing — in the world can make me feel more frustrated and helpless than a bad dressing room session.
Sometimes in the early evening I find myself sitting down.
This is dumb.
I need clothing.
Answer: No, I do not have Lupus. At least I don’t think so. But I wonder sometimes when I’m hungover because [*deep breaths*] I can no longer drink.
Do you ever feel that way, new mom? That you are invisible?
Let’s play spot the banana, shall we?
Like, we go to our hairdresser and go, “Hey! I’m a new mom and I really want to embrace this shit! GIVE ME THE FULL ON KATE GOSSELIN OR NOTHING AT ALL!”