Diary: The sweater watershed moment

Sometimes I wonder what it is to be a good mother. And I think, “The ability to pick things up off the floor and make food on demand.”

Diary, August 29: Do I have Lupus?

Answer: No, I do not have Lupus. At least I don’t think so. But I wonder sometimes when I’m hungover because [*deep breaths*] I can no longer drink.

New York Times and ‘Mom hair’

Like, we go to our hairdresser and go, “Hey! I’m a new mom and I really want to embrace this shit! GIVE ME THE FULL ON KATE GOSSELIN OR NOTHING AT ALL!”